Freedom to Choose Growth

Article by Dr. Megan Vaughan, SLPD, CBIS

Working with overwhelm or suboptimal functioning – beyond the “stretch” or growth zone requires you to acknowledge and address intense emotions and stress. Stress and emotion can stem from many situations. In special operations, these situations may even seem unthinkable or unbelievable. Avoiding emotional or physical pain wouldn’t be a problem if we did it once or twice a year; but for most of us, it’s a deeply ingrained habit. The habit of avoiding or pushing off the pain of emotions becomes a safe space called the “comfort zone.”

So rather than resist hard emotions, “Take it on!” Choose to be curious about it. The purpose is to move through the emotional pain towards values, towards rewarding adventure, and ultimately freedom from reacting. You control the variables but begin building a new discipline. Try and practice skills that cultivate a sense of freedom.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. –Victor Frankl

This is a call to action. A Green Beret told me once that every action is a call to action. If you take this step, so will others.

Here are 3 steps you can take toward inner freedom

1. Anchored in Freedom – a 10 second mindfulness exercise

This technique focuses on the choices you can make about uncontrollable factors. The mind moves at warp speed and can time travel, whereas the body is slow-moving and always in the present moment. Body movement can be controlled and bring a sense of freedom with that control.  

Drop anchor. Become aware of your body, i.e., fix posture or roll your shoulders. This is bringing back a sense of control. Next, feel your feet on the ground and notice what you can see and hear around you. This is anchoring you and will help you avoid getting swept away by strong emotions. 

2. Working with a saturated mind – desaturate the mind in a 1-3 minute meditation

When the mind is restless and can’t stop thinking about something; instead of focusing on breathing – which also takes a significant amount of focus on an already saturated mind, go outside and look at the landscape as a whole. Appreciate the vastness, and notice the colors and the changes of light across the landscape. This brings the mind into a more objective state because you quite literally shifted your mindset.

3. Self Compassion – a 4 minute video to guide your mindfulness practice

Don’t get caught up in the name- it’s not selfish or soft. To the contrary, it’s brave and it fortifies. For this exercise, linked here and watch this short video. In case you need more convincing to watch the video and give self compassion a try, here are some reasons why you should experiment with this practice. 

• Self compassion skills can bring quick relief, but they are meant to be cultivated overtime and once cultivated the neural networks become Teflon for the brain, against jagged emotions. In this case, fast truly is slow and slow is fast. 
• The neuroscience behind self-compassion practices reveals fascinating insights into how these practices affect brain function and emotional regulation. When individuals engage in self-compassion, areas of the brain associated with emotion regulation, such as the prefrontal cortex (the area for decision making), become more active, and there is also increased gray matter density – meaning your brain gets faster. This increased activity helps individuals manage their emotions more effectively, reducing stress and promoting a sense of well-being.
• Self-compassion practices also activate the brain’s soothing system, which involves the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of safety and connection. This activation helps counteract the brain’s threat response, which is often triggered by self-criticism and negative self-talk. These habits are common in special operations and may be habits that helped you achieve when others could not. By fostering a kinder and more understanding attitude towards oneself, self-compassion practices can reduce the intensity of negative emotions and enhance emotional resilience. It is a win for you and everyone in your life.

A Personal Note to Readers by the Author.

Emotional pain is similar to chronic pain. There is no simple fix or quick road to a better, less painful place. Emotional pain is hard to explain, and it can feel easier to just “put on a mask” and hide behind it or within it. 

If you are reading this article, please do not take this advice as an invalidation of your experiences or minimizing the intense feeling of overwhelm.  When it’s too much and you begin to think of yourself as damaged or that your very presence is detrimental to others. When we retract into ourselves, the rest of the world seems distant and dark. This information comes from the heart as an offering to you. May it bring peace, light, and freedom, especially if you find yourself in a dark place and you begin to think of yourself as damaged or that your very presence is detrimental to others.

If you would like to go deeper and bring actual cognitive, emotional and neurological change contact Dr. Vaughan at Megan@iperformancelabs.com

You are not alone! You are loved. 

Dr. Vaughan is a prominent researcher and clinician in integrative medicine and cognitive neuroscience specializing in biofeedback and mindfulness practices. She designs brain health and resilience programs for Special Operations personnel, the Department of Homeland Security, the FDA, and First Responders, focusing on vital wellness aspects like cognitive functioning, sleep, and emotional regulation. Dr. Vaughan also serves as a research mentor for NIH integrative medicine and is the chair elect for the American Congress of Rehabilitation Medicine Executive Board for Integrative Medicine and is chair for the joint venture for military VA/ DoD task force for Integrative Medicine for Special Operations. With over a decade of clinical experience and insights as a military spouse, Megan creates interventions that resonate with SOF service members’ unique challenges, leading to meaningful improvements in their mental and brain health. Her compassionate approach encourages individuals to engage in their healing journey, fostering empowerment and positive transformation.