Guidance for Trouble at Home
Blog by KaLea Lehman, Materials and Course taught by Madeline Vann
A Resource for Families in Need
Insight behind this Blog
In October 2024, MSOFC taught two classes for United States Army Special Operations Command’s (USASOC) Solider and Family Wellness programs. One “Lunch and Learn” tackled how to recognize and manage stress amid the special ops lifestyle, and the other covered what to do when there is trouble at home (abuse, domestic violence, etc.). Obviously, one of these topics is more intimidating and hard to push resources and information to the people who need it or would benefit from it.
This blog article serves as a live link for the “Trouble at Home” information. MSOFC hopes you share the link and linked resources with anyone (family member, clinician, or resource provider) that may benefit. Please feel encouraged to reach out to Madeline for further guidance or MSOFC about the course (email: home@msofc.org).
Understanding a Challenging Topic
The Trouble at Home class was a quick deep dive into understanding domestic abuse and intimate partner violence. You don’t have to look into the topics for long to notice that definitions and resources vary a lot. It is a loaded topic, an emotional topic, and a confusing issue to navigate. Madeline’s class helps anyone better understand abuse, identifies risk factors, and then provides guidance for managing the moment and seeking high quality help.
What you will find in the slides
★ Social support is essential
★ Treating alcohol/substance use and/or trauma makes interventions more effective
★ Working on cognitive deficits and TBI/RBE reduces family violence
★ Couples therapy enhances connection and communication
★ Anger management reduces family violence
What is Domestic Violence?
“Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.” –US Department of Justice
While this is the Dept. of Justice’s definition, each military service branch has a slightly different definition, and understanding what defines abuse is just the first challenge. Madeline’s class compassionately tackles how complex and confusing abuse can be and pulls out some surprising stats on the topic.
Did You Know
According to reporting from the National Domestic Violence Hotline, about 35.6% of women and 28.5% of men experienced sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported a related impact. Or did you know that one study done in 2009 reported, 91% of 50-80% of intimate partner violence is situational, which means it may be manageable with help?
Understanding Risks and a Way Forward
Madeline’s class goes beyond recognizing abuse by addressing risk factors and the poor outcomes that happen too often. If you find yourself navigating trouble at home, these resources will help you plan a way forward for yourself and your family (or a friend or client) and give you simple tools to manage in the moment. Included in the class is simple guidance on how to help a friend, find effective therapy, and how to vet a program.
Explore class highlights here (LINKED).
Resources For You Now
The Trouble at Home class gathered a collection of resources together to help family members think through the moment (stress and anger); how to understand how special ops service may impact health and behaviors; how to develop a plan for help; where to look for resources and help; and even how to identify good therapy.
Download this resource packet (LINKED) for this information.
Schedule a Class or Connect
If you find know of a group or organization that would benefit from this class or a class on another tough topic, please email home@msofc.org or complete this form (LINK) and an MSOFC team member will reach out.
About the Authors
KaLea Lehman is the Executive Director of the Military Special Operations Family Collaborative (MSOFC). KaLea has extensive education in health communication and policy and has a Master of Education in Leadership and Organizational Performance, Vanderbilt University.
Madeline Vann, LPC, CSAC, is a therapist in private practice in Williamsburg, VA, and at The Farley Center. Her primary focus is helping mil/vet/first responder and adults in midlife manage trauma, grief, and addiction concerns.
Contact: maddie@therapyowls.com
